You there. What are you doing? Joey: “Hi! Just, er, browsing.”

You've got something in your hand. You weren't going to steal that were you? Joey: “No! Yes.”

Do you make a habit of this sort of thing? Joey: “Not anymore. I used to as a kid… always petty stuff, you know, more for the feeling than because it was shit I actually wanted. You just hang around with your friends as a teenager and someone steals something and you're thinking ‘Asshole', but you'd die before you let on you disagreed with him.

What was your gateway into the life of crime? Joey: “W.A.S.P.. It's Blackie Lawless' fault as much as mine, so I guess I'm the classic product of a situation, a situation created by outside factors. By, uh, W.A.S.P..”

That's a serious allegation. Explain. Joey: “It was, what, '85? I was young, I was a little fuckin' stupid, I was pissed off I didn't have the money to support my increasing record-buying habit. And there was W.A.S.P.. They were hotshots at the time – their first record had ‘Animal (Fuck Like A Beast)' on it – everyone hated them; parents, educators. And when they put out their second album, it was so badass. ‘The Last Command'…man, it had ‘Blind In Texas', ‘Jack Action'; some real progression. Man, I wanted that album so much. I just walked in that store… and I took it. On cassette.”

Were you afraid of being caught? Joey : “Afraid? Shit, yeah! I must have looked so fuckin' suspicious, jacket with big pockets, wheelin' around lookin' over my shoulder. I'll never know how they didn't catch me.”

Was there a thrill to it? Joey : “No, no. There was a thrill to having ‘The Last Command' on cassette, yeah… but I mean, it didn't last. The thrill. The album still kicks major butt.”

I suppose you've done what all criminals do… gone onto bigger things? Joey : “Not really. I mean, I used to boost cars for a while. And I, er, once burned down a forest. Not a forest. Just a patch of it. And it wasn't really anything there, it was all dead stuff. I wouldn't burn a proper one, with live things. And it was an accident anyway. This is the first time I've been tempted since. Even now everyone's taking music on the internet, downloading illegal stuff – I've never even done that! It just seems wrong somehow, and I'm not big into the whole MP3 thing anyway.”

L ots of pockets in those extremely baggy boiler suits, though. Joey: “I guess I still look mighty suspicious wandering around a shop, huh? Especially after midnight. I told you – I was only ever an amateur. I wouldn't last half a second as a cat burglar. Trust me.”

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